Perv!

So, I've been doing LOADS of swimming lately in an effort to get much much fitter. Well... more like I've a bet with a mate to lose a stone in 6 weeks. Feeling much fitter and heathier, I was more than up for the challenge. Whoever wins gets a new swimsuit from the other. And I'm pretty confident I'll be the recipient of said swimsuit.

I try and fit a swim it whether it's 10 or 40 laps almost everyday with Fridays as rest days... for the drinking session obviously. OK, in a bid to be healthier, maybe I should stop drinking for a while. But there's gotta be a balance in life. This is mine.

Anyways, I was in a bit of a rush one day last week. My only free night and I wanted to do 40 laps in the pool. But I had to go to the doctor's to have my diving wounds looked at as they weren't the fastest at healing. On top of that, I had to try and get some dinner cooked before my sister complains to my parents that I hadn't been feeding her and she's wasting away. By the time I got everything done, I had about an hour before the pool shut so I figured I could probably get about 30 laps in.

So off I went, doing my laps up and down the pool. By about 8.40pm, the pool was quietening. There were about 6 people left in the pool. I was sharing a lane with this bloke and now there's more space, I thought I'd move onto the next lane.

Let's just describe this bloke for a minute. Who, or rather, what guy, in their right mind would wear a bright yellow swimming cap in the pool??? Not only that, he had white (white?) swimming trunks on. And he didn't appear to know how to swim in a straight line either.

I moved to the next lane to give myself more space and swam down the pool. When I swam back up, I saw Blokey swimming down in my lane. I was thinking 'You f**king d**khead, it's a 50m f**king pool with about 4 people and you have to swim in my f**king lane even though I had moved to give myself more space' I was mentally thinking all sorts of expletives. But as I got closer and tried to swim to the other lane, I noticed something rather odd.

Despite the white swimming trunks, there appear to be something else.... black.... and then I realised what it was. The dude's trunks must have been a bit big for him and they were flapping in the water. What I saw was a black mound of pubic hair!!!!! EEUGGGHHHHH....

So i just finished my lap and jumped off the pool.

What a f**king perv!